


Rock On

by MissyTheLeast



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Inanimate Objects, Fluff and Crack, Other, Sentient objects/rocks/minerals, Sherlock & John are rocks - as in minerals, So are Mycroft & Stamford, but Molly & Greg are human, let's call it Rock!lock, which is why not tagged m/m - they're ROCKS people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 17:07:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5548478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissyTheLeast/pseuds/MissyTheLeast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."  Hamlet, Wm. Shakespeare.</p><p>Our heroes are at the end of their first successful case together, when they must tie up a loose end with a 'minor tool of the British Government'...</p><p>Humanity has long suspected and believed that stones, rocks, minerals and gems of all kinds are imbued with power and the ability to influence our bodies and our minds.  This is the tale of two of these special objects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rock On

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cwb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cwb/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Emperor Tales of the Frozen South](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4288344) by [cwb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cwb/pseuds/cwb). 



> I am considering this a 'you asked for it' prompt fill and gift fic for the awesome cwb who said and I quote: "I think that those of us who love John and Sherlock as much as we do, could write them as rocks, and they'd still somehow be in character. Well, maybe not rock. I don't know. Let's not go there." Comments (by cwb), Chapter 24, "Emperor Tales of the Frozen South" by cwb.
> 
> I went there.

"Really Mycroft? 'A rolling stone gathers no moss'? That's your 'issue' with John?"

"Sherlock, I have no 'issue' with John, nor his origins. It is his present usefulness, not his innate abilities, with which I have concerns. He simply cannot do the top job under the current regulations."

"Thank you very much for pointing out my limitations, AGAIN. I can still help Sherlock and you know it! Just because I'm not the same strata as you, doesn't mean that I can't knock a chip off that pedestal you're perched on."

"Doctor Watson, do try and keep that volcanic temper under control. While I cannot allow you to go rogue and operate willynilly, you are fully approved for work with the researchers at Baskerville. You're to be part of the trials testing healing rates in higher mammals, using different surgical techniques; so far, the mouse results show significant improvement in lessening trauma to the incision site and marked reduction in scarring. Should your involvement continue to produce positive outcomes, I foresee your welcome in every surgery in the country."

"Tedious. The results are already conclusive. How long is John to be restricted by this rigmarole?"

A year; two at the outside. WE have no need to bow to the Americans' restrictive standards and prejudices." At this, Anthea swoops in and ceremoniously manhandles Mycroft away.

"Fine. You may leave us now," catcalls Sherlock. "Well, I suppose that will have to do. Sorry, John."

"Don't be. I've waited aeons for this; what's another year or two? Anyways, Molly should be here in a mo to pick us up. Reckon she'll stop at Bart's first?"

Before Sherlock could answer, Anthea reappears with her friend Molly in tow: "...can't thank you enough. Are you sure the skull is all the reward you'll take?"

"Oh yes, I'm very sure. It seems to call out to me, somehow."

"Eh, erm, well, it is a valuable artifact." At that, Sherlock and John are boxed together and bundled into Molly's arms.

The cab ride is quiet, everyone lost in their own thoughts. Sherlock only surfaces from his Mind Palace when he's on the mantel, snug against John and Stamford cheerfully demands details of the day's outing: "Mind you two tell me the lot of it! Don't get about like I used to, since Greg and I stabbed the Council Tax Bill."

Sherlock harrumphed while John detailed the latest news: "I know that Sherlock hates to admit it, but Mycroft has come through. Honestly, I thought that Sherlock was exaggerating, I mean, most bluestone dolerite just sit there..."

"He's still lazy, John. He acts like he's been above ground since Pangea formed..."

"....he really is the Great Seal of the British Government."

"....when he's only been dropped since the Quarternary of the Pleitocene."

"I haven't been this excited since I've been knapped."

Hours later, as Stamford takes the night watch, he thinks about the amazing life that his friends will soon have: "Never thought that introducing a black onyx & smokey crystal skull to a re-purposed arrowhead turned obsidian scalpel would make history."

**Author's Note:**

> This is intended only to amuse my fellow readers of cwb's magnum opus "Emperor Tales of the Frozen South", a fic vastly superior to this one. I may revisit and add to this AU if enough over you think it intriguing enough.
> 
> In this AU:
> 
> Mycroft is the Great Seal of Great Britain, which for the purposes of this fic only, I have made up of a gold handle/setting, while the business end of the stamp is made from dolerite, an igneous rock, same stuff as the 'bluestones' of Stonehenge.
> 
> Sherlock is a crystal skull (what else) carved in prehistoric times, made from both black smokey crystal and true black onyx. Unlike all other skulls, he has hair carved from the onyx, which allows him to sometimes communicate directly with humans. And as odd as it sounds (to me at least) since these minerals are both quartz, they can be found together, perhaps in a geode. And thanks to the wonderful PenelopeWaits for the correction to the information here and in the next paragraph. You Rock!
> 
> John is an ancient obsidian arrowhead, broken in battle with the Romans, and fragment remade into a micro-smooth and sharper than steel scalpel. This was done in 1895 and engraved " John H. Watson, RAMC, Afghanistan". Obsidian is a highly polished volcanic glass and like Mycroft and Sherlock, is a member of the igneous family but extrusive instead of intrusive. Obsidian scalpels are real and they are better in some ways than steel, but in the US are not to be used on humans, only on animals. He wants to be used in the morgue by Molly.
> 
> Stamford is a WW1 era Swiss Army knife; like John his name is engraved on his side, and he's seen both war and healing.
> 
> Greg Lestrade and Molly Hooper are humans married to each other, living in 221B Baker Street. They are the owners of Stamford, Sherlock and John.


End file.
